Divorce is usually something that is talked about in terms of heartbreak, loss, and grief. These are real and valid emotions and feelings. But, they’re not the only emotions that someone can feel after divorce. Another emotion can be common: relief.

In the cases of a stressful, unfulfilling, or unhealthy marriage, divorce can feel like an immense pressure has been lifted off your shoulders or that you’re finally able to breathe again. Experiencing relief after a divorce isn’t something that you should feel guilty about. This is part of the healing process, and this emotion deserves just as much space as the other ones that you experience. This is how to progress feelings of relief after a divorce.

Acknowledge the Relief

One of the best first steps to take is to acknowledge these feelings of relief and put a name to them. Instead of sitting with feelings of sadness or guilt for feeling this way, think about how this makes you feel. You may feel a bit lighter or freer compared to how you felt in the past.

Putting a name to your relief doesn’t and won’t erase all of the challenges that come along with divorce, but it can validate you. You took the necessary steps to remove something from your life that was no longer serving or benefiting you. Allowing yourself to feel this relief is also honoring your own personal needs and boundaries.

Let Go of Guilt

Feeling relieved after a divorce can bring on other complicated emotions like guilt, especially if you feel like you’re supposed to feel sad over this loss. This guilt can stem from being worried about how others will perceive you. You may even think that feeling this way makes you seem cold or out of touch with reality. But emotions that a person experiences after divorce are unique to them, and they’re rarely one-dimensional. You can feel both sadness and relief concurrently. One doesn’t have to cancel the other one out.

Adjust to Your New Normal

Experiencing feelings of relief doesn’t mean that the transition from being married to being divorced is any easier. You still have to adjust to your new normal and what this looks like for you in the aftermath. This means rebuilding your routines, making decisions, and possibly co-parenting with your ex. The benefit is that although this adjustment can be challenging, you are now living a life that should feel less draining and more authentic to you.

Find Yourself Again

Divorce allows you to create the necessary space to rediscover and reconnect with yourself. This is the perfect time to focus on yourself again and discover what you truly enjoy, value, and what you want your future to look like. This could mean starting a new hobby, spending time with your friends, or just enjoying the slow and quiet moments without any stress or tension.

Find the Healing in Relief

Relief means that you made the right choice. It aligns with your overall well-being. Don’t let it hinder your progress. Instead, use it as motivation to continue to heal. Set new goals for yourself, write in a journal, or start therapy so that you can continue to heal and move forward.

Next Steps

If you find yourself experiencing relief after a divorce, you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide or downplay it. Relief is a valid and healthy response to divorce. You can grieve what was lost while celebrating what you’ve gained at the same time. Divorce may be an ending, but it’s also the start of something that can be even better for you. Reach out today to learn more about women’s counseling or if you need help navigating this life change.