Becoming a parent is a wild journey. Think about it. Before having a baby, you’re caring for yourself, sleeping throughout the night each and every night, and balancing your professional and personal life. And after having a baby, you’re fully responsible for another tiny human who literally depends on you for everything.

The journey to parenthood is a wild ride filled with plenty of ups and downs along the way. Becoming a parent is much more than just cute baby photos, snuggles, and tiny clothes. Becoming a parent can be one of the most rewarding, yet challenging, and emotionally and mentally demanding experiences you’ll encounter in your lifetime.

You’re probably well aware of what becoming a parent looks like. But it’s equally as important to consider what it feels like to become a parent. Let’s explore the mental aspects of becoming a parent.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

There are numerous hormonal changes and bodily shifts that occur during pregnancy and postpartum. You may notice yourself being a bit more emotional during pregnancy and after giving birth. You’ll cry because your baby smiles, laughs, or coos. And you may cry again because they won’t calm down or stop crying themselves. Hormonal changes and sleep deprivation can mess with your mood. Feeling anxious, numb, or overwhelmed is a normal and natural response.

Isolation

Even if you’re surrounded by loved ones and people who are there to help support you, becoming a parent can be a lonely experience. You may feel like no one truly understands how you’re feeling. This could be because your family doesn’t live close to you, or your close friends don’t have children themselves just yet. That being said, connecting with people who are in the same chapter of their life as you are can help you feel a little less alone as you navigate this significant life change.

The Identity Shift

When you become a parent, you’re not just you anymore, you’re someone’s “Parent” or their “Mom” or “Dad”. It can feel both rewarding and strange at the same time. While you may love being a parent, at times, you may experience missing your old self, your sense of former freedom, and your old routines. It’s important to remember that feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent or ungrateful for being a parent in the first place. These feelings are valid and even normal.

Parenting Guilt

Parenting guilt is real. You may question yourself daily and wonder if you’re doing certain things the right way or if you’re even a good parent. You’ll question everything, from giving your baby enough attention and the food you’re giving them, to their feeding times, and whether you’re relying too much on screens to help you parent. The truth is that no matter how you feel, you’re doing better than you think you are. Your goal isn’t to be the perfect parent. This doesn’t exist. Instead, focus on showing up, learning, caring, and loving your baby.

Next Steps

When you become a parent, it’s easy to get lost in your baby’s routine, their feeding schedule, changing diapers, and trying to do everything possible to ensure they’re healthy and happy. But when was the last time you thought about your own needs? You can’t expect to care for someone else if you’re not taking care of yourself first. You matter as a parent, but also as a person. Taking care of yourself ensures that you and your baby are healthy and happy.

Becoming a parent doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself. You and your mental health deserve just as much care as your baby does. Give yourself grace during this time and don’t be afraid to ask for help. We’re here for you when you’re ready to get the help you need and deserve. Reach out today to learn more about relationship therapy and get started.